BRAIN meets HEART meets FINGERS
My name is Lita Putri Rinanti. When my brain meets my heart meets my fingers, voila this blog is the result. Do enjoy reading these, no hard feeling or even fake feeling, please! :)
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Loving-Giving
I just happened to read one of those magazines supplied by the salon I visited yesterday, and found these from an article I randomly read:
We can give without loving, but we can’t love without giving.
Yes, it is right. You can simply give something to people—money for homeless people, a piece of paper for classmate, a way direction for a woman who loses her way, etc.—without any affection behind that action. However, if you love someone, can you push yourself not to give something to that person? Nope! I think the art of loving is giving. When you love someone, you’ll always want to show your caring, you give him/her your love, you give him/her your nice attention, you give him/her a birthday presents, you give him/her compliments, you give him/her some nice words.. ya It’s all about giving each other. It just like when Shah Jahan build a Taj Mahal for his wife, or when King Edward VIII of England give away his throne in order to be able to marry love of her live, as I read in that article. That was sweet of them :’)
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B(est) B(est) F(riends) F(orever)
Again, in this corner of the café, I sat next to the table of some high school teenagers who talked a lot, laughed a lot. They even had a little fight sometimes, yet then the next few minutes they seemed to forget what they fought about. Hmm.. I wondered how life could be so much easier when I was in their age. I don’t know, it seems like life offers more and more question I have to answer as I grow old, which I bet Mr. Google even can’t give the answers.
One of the simplest but crucial things you may find through your journey is, just admit it, friend-matters. Well, a whole universe knows, and even some social scholars proved that nobody can live in solitude. People need family, spouse, lover, and of course friends, to live with. Possibly there are just few people do care about maintaining friendship. Or maybe you are one of them? Be careful, buddy, you chose the wrong decision. Having a well-maintained friendship, for me, is just like a small first step to make your life easier, since at least one of the crucial source problems of your life decreased.
Well, these are the ways that, based on my experiences, will bring you a good friendship. But don’t worry, I will not mention some cliché things, no! These things are just how I understand what friendship means, in a simply unselfish ways. I call them BBFF.
Be responsible to your friendship.
Responsible means that you have to avoid fighting, as possible as you can, in order to keep this friendship lasts. Sometimes, if the case is too serious, it’s okay to burst out your emotion. But don’t let your anger controls you; you have to give an empathy to your friend, wondering how it feels if you are in your friend’s position. Trust me, to have your friend mad at you is absolutely terrible. Feeling guilty to your friend is even worst L
Be honest of your feeling.
Don’t be ashamed to show how you feel. If you feel thank, say thank. If you feel so happy after having a good time together, then let them know. That’s very simple, isn’t it? Simple but it shows that you care.
Fake-less.
Let your friend see your true color. If they are truly your friends, they won’t mind. Do avoid backstabbing. If you and your friends fake one another, matter of fact, you guys are not really friend.
Fully realized that you shouldn’t have any ‘string’ to one another.
Last but not least, you have to realize that friendship is different from love-relationship. There’s no ‘string’ in friendship which can be some boundaries among you guys. You can’t just forbid your friends to do something they want, or get mad if they choose to go for a date with their lover instead of accompany you to a bookstore, or prohibit them to hang out with their other friends. Well, sometimes there’s a jealousy among friends, but it’s not good and it’s no use to keep those feeling. Good friends don’t have to talk or meet up every single day to keep their friendship works; they just know that their friends will be on their side whenever they need. Yet if their friends don’t, they still are friend.
Well, just let’s see these BBFF make you be best best friends forever.
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My Body, My Rights
Right here, from the corner of the café, I was happened to hear some thin girls talking about how they ate a lot that afternoon. How they thought they were just like nothing but pig (no offense for pig, lol), how they were afraid of a weight scales (which I thought that scales will only point on not more than 55 kilos!), how they hated having a bunch of fat on their belly, their arms, or even their chin!
Well, I admitted that sometimes I felt unsatisfied about my body, too. But, compare to the girl’s problem I mentioned above, it was the opposites. During my high school times, I was very berry thin, and always being the tallest among the girls. It was so pathetic for me. I prayed for God, wished He granted me bigger boobies and bigger ass as my 17th birthday’s presents. I even wished that I was not that tall. You know, it was quite hard for me to find a proper boy around me, whom I expected he must be taller at least a head than me.
You might not believe me, but that time I already ate a lot, more than my friends did. I could eat 4 times a day. I drank milk, full-cream milk, before sleeping. I avoided sports, afraid sports would burn my fat, which I guessed already lose before I even thought about burning it. On the other hands, my mom was getting worried more and more when she saw me ate a lot. She told me, all over again, that what she called ‘fat gen’ was on my blood. That my fat body could easily explode someday. Yeah, my mom’s fear is reasonable. We witnessed it on my sister.
My older and only sister used to be so thin when she was in primary until high school. On the same age, she was even thinner than me. But when she started going to college, boom, she ate more and more, got fatter and fatter, bigger and bigger. It seemed like the ‘fat gen’ finally emerged on her body. What did we call it ‘fat gen’? Because all my girl cousins from my father side had a big body, yet they were still beautiful of course. All of them were, except me and lovely Keke, my only thin cousin. The other cousins thought we’re just so lucky, they had never known that actually we still had some hard days too, of being so thin.
It was kinda funny, though, when I and my sister still lived together in our parents’ house. I ate a lot to get some fats, she did a diet program to burn some. I still remember how she cooked brown rice and stir-fried green veggies to fill her lunch box before he went to office, how she drank low-fat milk and had a banana for breakfast. She also did acupuncture in order to decrease her appetite. Oneday, she cooked brown rice for a whole family, hope that we can apply the healthy lifestyle too. But, yuck, I was very sorry but I thought the regular rice was still the best for me.
Well, I think this just how the world rotates. People are never satisfied; people who are fat wished for thin body, people who are thin wished they could fatter. Well that’s so human. It’s not wise to just blame them easily, saying that they didn’t accept what God destined for them. Everybody has the rights to be better, thinner, fatter, or even sexier, right? It’s just a matter of people’s own standpoint about the ideal body they wish they could have. I know everybody has a self-attribution* beyond their action. It’s okay to limit the portion of meals to get skinnier, if you just want so, or if you just aim to be a model. It’s okay to get fatter if you’re not comfort with your extra thin body. Or in my case now, it’s okay to wish for other inches to get taller (since I realized that after I moved to my current city, I’m no longer the tallest anymore), as long as I know what my aim is.
(*self-attribution: the act of assigning a cause for an event or behavior.)
But wait, the aim is nothing but wrong if you’re just ‘upgrading’ your body in order to get affection from the one you love, you flirt, or you crushed on. No, buddies! Just wait, and someday he/she will come, the one who accepts all your flaws wholeheartedly, who doesn’t mind at all if you have some cellulite, stretch marks, a one huge pack belly instead of six packs, or even the one who doesn’t mine if your body actually 2 times bigger than him/her. We’ll see :)
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Antara Pikun dan ‘Cuma Lupa’
Gue masih terpaku ngeliatin layar laptop. Abis nonton salah satu film Korea, yang kata temen gue sih, nggak kacangan. Tadinya gue nggak mau nontonnya karena ini film Korea, alesan gue sih “lagi males unyu-unyuan, sob”. Tapi abis nonton film ini, judulnya A moment to remember, gue jadi merinding. Ngeri banget bangeeeet, ngebayangin kalo someday gue terserang Alzheimer kayak si tokoh utama.
Emang nih, tiap kali gue nonton film atau baca buku yang nyeritain tentang penyakit satu ini (misalnya The Notebook, udah nonton atau baca novelnya kan? J), gue pasti kepikiran. Waktu itu gue pernah nggak sengaja ngobrolin soal penyakit ini sama temen gue yang lagi ngambil studi kedokteran. Jadi, Alzheimer itu penyakit atau sindrom yang ngebuat sel-sel otak mengerut dan dipenuhi sedimen protein, yang ngebuat si penderita pikun, lupa sama semuanya. Dari yang awalnya lupa sama hal-hal kecil seperti lupa dimana nyimpen something, lama-lama nggak masuk akal seperti lupa jalan pulang, lupa cara nyisir rambut, lupa kalo pipis mesti di kamar mandi, sampe akhirnya lupa sama diri sendiri (apalagi sama orang lain). Well, we can simply illustrate it as if someone has ‘an eraser’ on his/her brain. Terus parahnya sih, seiring kemajuan jaman, Alzheimer jadi makin banyak menyerang orang-orang usia muda. Ih, serem abis! Masih muda tapi ingatannya kayak lansia L
Tapi gue jadi mikir sih, kalo para lansia juga ngalamin ya yang namanya pikun. Salah satunya adalah nenek gue tersayang. Thanks God, bukan Alzheimer, sih. Umurnya udah lebih dari 70-an. So far, sih dia sehat, masih bisa jalan-jalan ke pasar, malah nggak betah kalo diem dirumah aja. Tapi ya satu itu penyakitnya, pikun! Yang bikin kita semua geli adalah, nenek marah loh kalo dibilang pikun. “Abdi teh nteu pikun, iyeu teh nami na poho,” (baca: gue tuh nggak pikun, cuma lupa!).
Nenek suka banget jalan-jalan dari satu rumah anaknya ke rumah anak lainnya. Tapi sayangnya, walaupun baru sebentar singgah di rumah A misalnya, tapi dia berasa udah lama banget tinggal disitu. Jadi pasti cepet-cepet ngajakin pulang. Nah seringnya sih, ketika udah dianterin pulang, dia minta dianterin balik lagi ke rumah A. Yah, as she mentioned before, lupa kalo baru aja pulang dari rumah A.
Trus ada lagi kebiasaan nenek yang bikin kita semua geli juga. Nenek suka nanyain hal yang sama berulang-ulang. Misalnya, nanya tanggal berapa, setelah dijawab beberapa menit kemudian nanya lagi. Begitu deh, sampe yang ditanyain juga bosen akhirnya hehehe. Tapi ada satu pertanyaan yang ga pernah bosen ditanyain nenek ke gue ketika gue pulang ke rumah.
Pagi
Nenek : Neng ‘kan kuliah di Jakarta, ya? Kok ada disini, lagi liburan ya?
Gue : Iya, Nek, lagi liburan.
Nenek : Kapan dateng?
Gue : Kemarin malem.
Sore
Nenek: Neng lagi liburan ya?
Gue : Iya, Nek.
Nenek : Udah dari kapan dateng kesini?
Gue : (sabar) Kemarin malem, Nek.
Malem
Nenek : Aih, Neng kok ada disini? Kapan dateng?
Gue : (sabar) Kemarin malem, Nek.
Nenek : Ah, masa sih? Kok nenek baru liat Neng sekarang?
Gue : (nahan ketawa) Lah daritadi pagi kan kita udah ketemu, Nek.
Nenek : Aih, iya ya? Lupa nenek.
Begitulah, kita kadang-kadang bosen mau jawab hal yang sama, eh tapi kalo ga dijawab takut kualat sama orang tua. Tapi tetep aja, acara keluarga kalo nggak ada nenek yang rempong ngajakin pulang kayaknya rasanya nggak rame dan nggak lengkap.
Ada satu hal, sih, yang sangat disayangkan dari pikunnya si nenek. Gue, cucunya, belum sempet menimba ilmu dari dia (tapi apa mau dikata dia keburu ‘lupa’). Baru gue sadarin ketika gue udah SMA, kalo ternyata we do have something in common. Nenek gue tuh mantan ibu-ibu PKK, yang bisa masak, bikin kue segala rupa, menjahit, membordir, sulam usus, merangkai bunga, bikin kerajinan dari barang apapun, pokoknya tangan nenek tuh luar biasa kreatif. And this is me, addicted to cooking, crafting, and all hand-made things. No wonder these are all in my blood.
Nyesel banget memang, seandainya aja gue udah sadar hobby gue itu dari jaman nenek masih berjaya. Tapi ya nggak ada gunanya juga nyesel-nyesel. Dari fenomena ini, jadilah keluar becandaan antara gue dan kakak perempuan gue (yang selalu disambut pelototan mata nyokap): ”Berarti kita nih sekarang puas-puasin deh minta ajarin Mamah masak, bikin kue, sama jahit baju. Kita kumpulin resep-resepnya si Mamah dari sekarang. Yah, just in case Mamah keburu pikun.”
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See That Girl?
Yeah, she’s the one who stuck up for you,
The one who stayed up until midnight just to talk to you,
She’s the one whose heart flutters whenever she sees you on her phone or computer screen,
She’s the one who fought for you,
The one that missed and loved you,But by the time you realized she’s the girl you want…
She’ll already be with the guy who figured it out.
:’)
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Congraduation!
These days, I’ve been thinking a lot about graduation. Will it happen as my desire, on January 2013? Will I be one of a cum laude graduand who sits in a front row? Will my family and B come? Will they give me a flower bouquet? What will I wear? Will I wear my father’s descended toga? And, the main point of those thoughts is, what will I do after that one-day-celebration huh? Yes, I kinda thinking about those a lot.
However, one night I re-watched The Twilight Saga – Eclipse DVD, then coincidentally get some new point of views of graduation by the scenes when Jessica Stanley delivered a speech on their graduation day. Here is, I re-write, her short-but-sharp speech.
When we were 5, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or –in my case, a princess. When we were 10, they asked again. We answered rock star, cowboy, or-in my case, a gold medalist. But now that we’ve grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how ‘bout this: “Who the hell knows?”
This isn’t the time to make hard-and-fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere; fall in love –a lot; major in philosophy, because there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind, and change it again, because nothing’s permanent. So, make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask what we want to be, we won’t have to guess –we’ll know.
